I’m pretty sure it’s time to get my hair cut. Do you know how I know? This morning I was walking down the hall at work and every time I took a step, I could feel my faux hawk bounce. Yeah, it’s getting too long.
Monthly Archive for February, 2007
Last night I went out for dinner with Karla. As if it was any surprise, we went to Don Pablo’s. Our waiter, although nice, seemed overly friendly as well as forgetful. When he arrived with the bill, he said in a very commanding voice, much like a flight attendant, “Here is your bill. The copy in front is the copy I need. The copies underneath are for you to take home. Do not forget to take your credit card with you.” I was waiting for him to ask us if we were comfortable sitting in an emergency exit row.
I think I snacked on too many wasabi peas today. I started out with a burning tongue, but now I can’t taste the wasabi anymore and my tongue is feeling like I burnt it on hot coffee.
If any of you have not yet seen Kelly’s music video for Shoes, do it now. Note: the audio from the following video may offend innocent bystanders.
Last night I went out for dinner with Preston, Karla, and David. We’re sitting around reciting lines from the video (which is just as quotable as Napoleon Dynamite) when our waitress comes over. “Fiscal responsibility.” “Tom Skerritt.” Our waitress chimes in with “Shoes.”, which nearly made me pee my pants.
When it was time for the check, instead of signing my receipt with may name, I signed it “Shoes.”, and Preston signed it “Tom Skerritt”.
A few weeks ago, David came across a hysterical video of a machine that someone thought was a good idea: The Pet Spa. Basically, a dishwasher that you put your small quadruped companions (like, say, a cat) in. I really felt bad for the cat in said video. What I thought was funny was that someone suggested the product, engineered it, built it, tested it, and then went on to sell this contraption. Did at no point someone say “hmmm… maybe a cat would not like to be put into a small enclosed space and sprayed with water jets from every direction”?
The sad thing is that I went to find the video to post on my blog. But YouTube removed it.
The bizarre thing was that YouTube removed it because of a copyright claim. From… The Walt Disney Company!
Apparently my brother has started a trend. Well, hopefully one chemically imbalanced celebrity isn’t a trend.
Reminds me of a clip from the Family Guy movie, set in the future:
While we’re on the topic of this particular chemically imbalanced celebrity, a classic piece of YouTube footage for your eager consumption:
Advertisements are becoming more and more invasive and sometimes discreet in our daily lives. Advertising started out with a campaign like “Take stick. Stick good. Hit things.” Soon marketers smarted up and started to lie to sell their products: “Snake Oil: it cures what ails ya!” After some time, as consumers became more educated, jingles were introduced to create a happy feeling associated with a product. 
“I’m Chiquita banana and I’ve come to say…” More recently, product placement and celebrity sponsorship has taken hold. The psychology of this advertising has people convinced that “that basketball player wears brand X shoes, and he’s a good basketball player, therefore if I wear brand X, I will play basketball well.” Or “he’s hot; he drinks Coke; if I drink Coke I’ll be hot too.” The most recent wave of advertising is known as viral advertising: the consumer knowingly or unknowingly advertises on the behalf of the company. Email forwards, YouTube videos and BitTorrent have all been used. Have you seen the recent Domino’s Pizza videos? I haven’t, but I did hear about them.
Just yesterday I was rock climbing and I saw this little old lady, probably about 70, belaying. She looked like she could be Mennonite, with her simple clothing, pale yet aged skin, her long gray hair tied up in a bun. At first I thought, “wow, that’s cool; she’s helping her son and daughter-in-law rock climb.” Half an hour later, however, I turn around and she’s climbing up the walls like spider woman! Clinging to negative inclines posed no threat to her super-human powers. Was I witnessing the next generation in advertising for modern mature lifestyle enhancement drugs? We shall see, we shall see.
With the prices of HDTV receivers dropping, we finally purchased an HD card to put into our Windows Media Center computer so we can watch high def on our Xbox 360 in the living room. Today we received our antenna in the mail, and I am glad to report that 1080i is bliss. I am saddened to say however, that The Simpsons, Family Guy, and American Dad are all still captured in plain old NTSC and then upscaled. The result is much better than an analog transmission, but still disappointing.
ATSC is truly a sight to behold.
Now, to clarify something that many people seem to be confused about: analog broadcasts will end on February 17, 2009. Congress will be subsidizing the cost of set top boxes that allow you to receive digital signals on analog TVs. They cost a lot now, but have dropped in price drastically over the past several years and will continue to do so. I’m estimating a box will cost $50 to $100 by 2009. None of this concerns you if you are using satellite or cable television–only antenna broadcasts.
So this afternoon I’m walking with Karla to her car. As I often do, I’m rambling on about some uninteresting story which I can no longer recall, when she lets out a shriek of disgust. Was my story really that bad? I know they are dull on occasion, but there was no need to hurt my feelings. Then she turned around an showed me that a bird pooped on her jacket and glove. It missed her hair, so I think she will recover.
End of story.
Which reminds me of another story: a few years back I was in Florida with my family. We took an afternoon trip to the Everglades. Everything was set up and ready to go: a boardwalk far away from any shower, a large tree with a branch stretched over the boardwalk, and a very large and, apparently, well-fed bird. I don’t remember what type of bird it was, maybe a crane, maybe an albatross, could have been an ostrich. It is all very fuzzy. Enter lovey-dovy couple, under branch. The unfortunate girl became, unfortunately, covered from head to toe, unfortunately.
I bet Karla’s glad she’s in Maryland, not Florida.
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