Archive for the 'Stupid People' Category

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All I have to say is… wow

Two of my least favorite people really don’t get along.
www.godhatesamerica.com

Since that is a temporary splash screen, I’ll copy the text:

WBC will preach at the memorial service of the corpulent false prophet Jerry Falwell, who spent his entire life prophesying lies and false doctrines like “God loves everyone”.

There is little doubt that Falwell split Hell wide open the instant he died. The evidence is compelling, overwhelming, and irrefragable. To wit:

  1. Falwell was a true Calvinistic Baptist when he was a young preacher in Springfield, Missouri, and sold his soul to Free-Willism (Arminianism) for lucre.
  2. Falwell bitterly and viciously attacked WBC because of WBC’s faithful Bible preaching — therebycommitting the unpardonable sin — otherwise known as the sin against the Holy Ghost.
  3. Falwell warmly praised Christ-rejecting Jews, pedophile-condoning Catholics, money-grubbing compromisers, practicing fags like Mel White, and backsliders like Billy Graham and Robert Schuler, etc. All for lucre — making him guilty of their sins.

Lunatics I love to hate

My only fear is that Falwell‘s falwellers will see him as a saint. I use the term “saint” very loosely, much more loosely than the Moral Majority (Wikipedia). And while I’m on the subject, what a misnomer!

[youtube WGOTUG16REE Jerry Falwell]

[youtube 4xv05FK69KU Anne Coulter]

[youtube z0Z4Ep7VxWU Fred Phelps]

This is not Starbucks

A few days ago I was getting coffee at Mayorga at the BWI airport. The lady in front of me ordered coffee and proceeded to retrieve some form of payment from her purse. She handed the guy at the counter her Starbucks gift card. He gave her a dirty look, “Uhh… this is not Starbucks.”

“What? I thought it was,” as she took a step back to look at the sign. “Oh.”

The state of the world today…

…is actually really good. I want to start out by saying that the event that took place at VA Tech this morning is a horrible, awful tragedy, and I in now way wish to diminish what the victims and families and friends of the victims are going through. My argument, however, is that tragedy has been happening through all of recorded history, and events like this remind me that people will quickly forget this as they fall into the rhetoric of how the world is falling apart.

The fact is that massacres have occurred in public places for a very long time; massacres are not a new phenomenon (the Bath School Disaster of 1927 was the deadliest school massacre in American history). Mankind’s history is full of genocide. People in today’s democracies and republics have more individual rights than our ancestors could have imagined 300 years ago. The violent crime rate in the US has dropped by more than one half since the early 1990′s. Property crimes (burglary, automobile theft, etc.) have dropped by more than two thirds since the mid 1970′s.

Something must be going right.

When reports start coming out about the history of the VA Tech shooter, it is likely that people will discuss that he watched horror movies, or that he listened to Marilyn Manson, or that he played Grand Theft Auto. But I have a very difficult time believing that any of those things can cause something like that to happen. Nearly every person I know (and the people I know are pretty good people) does at least two of those three things, and none of them have murdered before. My generation and the one following me watch violent movies and play violent video games, but we are quite possibly the most docile generation yet. Just look at our asses.

When Hurricane Katrina hit, many people seemed to think that it was a sign of the end of the world, as it caused what is likely, apart from the tsunami in 2004, the most widespread devastation that most people have ever seen. Seen. That’s the problem. People have only witnessed the time period of their own lifetime, which maxes out around 100 years or so. On average, any given person’s experience is much less time than that. Also, Television has only been in common use since the 1950s. CNN and other 24 hour news stations have only existed since 1980. Cable television and satellite started coming into most homes in the late eighties. In short, this “see everything” phenomenon is something that is very very new. Our frame of reference is really only the past twenty years.

Yes, Katrina was a terrible disaster, although with a death toll of under 2,000 people, it barely made the list of the 50 most deadly cyclones of all time, and was certainly not the most deadly hurricane on American soil. And that’s just cyclones, other natural disasters dwarf Katrina to a historically insignificant event.

Considering our modern concept of civil rights, modern medicine, sanitation, low crime rates, scientific and cultural enlightenment, etc. I don’t think I would rather have lived in any other period in Earth’s history.

Survivor: Road Test

Sometimes I wish that driving on the road was like being a contestant on Survivor. But our vote would be honking our horns at stupid drivers doing stupid things like not just pulling out into the intersection while waiting to run left, but turning enough that they block the adjacent oncoming lane of traffic.

I vote you off the road, Mr. Goes-40-In-A-55.

And the haircut is awesome, too

HTML Tattoo

Britney Prophecy

Apparently my brother has started a trend. Well, hopefully one chemically imbalanced celebrity isn’t a trend.

Reminds me of a clip from the Family Guy movie, set in the future:

While we’re on the topic of this particular chemically imbalanced celebrity, a classic piece of YouTube footage for your eager consumption:

Paula

I came to the recent realization that Paula Abdul‘s American Idol career has been far more successful than her music career. Her debut album was released in 1988, and her last successful release was in 1991. She had a comeback album in 1995 that I won’t even count and a greatest hits release in 2000 that sold less than a million copies worldwide. That’s a four year successful music career. She has been on American Idol since 2002, which is now starting its sixth season.

I think I came to this conclusion so late in the game because I don’t watch American Idol. It’s not that I have anything against a television show that turns out talented but untrained cookie-cutter mega stars, it’s just that I only have time for a few select television shows.

I’m sure many of you have seen Paula’s drunken news interviews. In case you haven’t, here they are. Her publicist blames ‘technical difficulties’. Yes, I suppose getting sloshed is a technical difficulty: it makes everything technically difficult. Even if you think you’ve seen these before, at least take a look at the first one again. Most of the videos circulating the internet don’t include the first part.

Telemarketers

A few days ago at work, I received a phone call from someone trying to sell printer toner. He started rambling on about how his company can save us money, blah blah, get the models of your printers, blah blah blah. I interrupted him to use the magic phrase: No, I’m not interested. Put us on your do-not-call list.

Friends season 7 episode 13I use that phrase perhaps once or twice a day. I don’t know if they actually do have a do-not-call list, but it always gets them off the phone in a hurry. This time however, my demand was returned with a very short “Why you gotta be like that? I’m just trying to save you money.” He continued with his sales pitch. I interrupted him agin. “No. Don’t call back again!” to which he responded, “You know what I’m going to do for you? I’m going to put you on everyone’s call list! Hahaha!” Click.

Hmmm… I didn’t want to buy toner from him before, but since he puts it that way…

I wish I had caught the company name, but I didn’t. I tried *69, but I don’t think I got the right line.

Crazy drivers and pedestrians

Last week was the crazy drivers – on the way to work I saw three people exit to the right from the left lane, all in one morning.  This week was the crazy pedestrians. I saw four people walk diagonally through an intersection.  Three of them were at the same intersection, and all were going different directions.  And this was not a small intersection: it had two lanes in each direction going one way, and three lanes going each direction on the other street.